The Regulation Journal

Introduction

There are some fears people don’t understand unless they’ve lived through them. For me, men in religious authority have always been a source of anxiety, fear, and confusion.

Not because of God.

Not because of Christianity.But because of the men themselves.

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My History With Religious AuthorityFor 28 years, men involved in religion:

scared me

intimidated me

bullied me

raised their voices

acted aggressively

put me in danger

never apologized

used “godliness” to excuse their behavior

were unpredictable

This wasn’t one event — it was a pattern.

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Why The YouTube Video Triggered Me

The mixed signals.

The married religious man.

The vulnerable homeless man.

The biting.

The unclear consent.

The awkwardness.

The power imbalance.

The sudden bedroom cut.

This wasn’t entertainment.

It was a trauma trigger.

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My Fear Is Not Irrational

People assume religious men are safe. My life taught me the opposite.

My fear comes from:

lived experience

survival instincts

patterns of behavior

emotional and physical danger

lack of safety

lack of accountability

It makes sense.

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Conclusion

You don’t become afraid of religious men for no reason.

You become afraid because they showed you — over and over — that you weren’t safe around them.

My fear is not disrespect.

It’s self-protection.

It’s memory.

It’s survival.

And I’m finally allowed to say that out loud.